Archive | May 2014

This is Farnia…..

This was Farnia

This was Farnia

Every day for 26 years.  We lived here, we laughed here, we cried here and we made memories here.  We had our happiest moments here…..and our saddest.  Three of our children had their wedding receptions here.  Two of them were married in the backyard.  A backyard that opened to the sky and water and the entire world.


Farnia was actually called Angelheart Cottage.  We named our house as the English do.  It seemed appropriate because it had a life.  And a ghost…..but that’s a story for another day.

We celebrated in Farnia.  Countless birthdays, holidays and our children’s achievements.  We celebrated life together and mourned the loss of our son and brother together.   Hope and faith lived here.  Laughter and love danced here.  Broken hearts healed here.  Life went on here.

It was a Christmas house.  It was its happiest at Christmas.  December filled with an entire month’s worth of surprises and the happy laughter of children on Christmas morning.  It could also be slightly sinister in October….where on Halloween night neighborhood children had to be enticed to knock for tricks or treats.  It was a holiday house.  A house for making memories in.  For taking joy in.

It was a house for dreaming in.  For snuggling grandchildren in.  For recuperating in.  For gazing out the window in.  For imagining in.  For wondering in.

And then life turned on a dime, as it has a way of doing.  And Farnia became a house of dashed expectations.  Of worries of what tomorrow would bring.  It became a house of fear.  A house that whispered “what if.”

Angelheart Cottage is now nameless and belongs to someone else.  I know you may think me crazy to say it, but the house was sad.  It felt the upheaval we all felt.  It got sadder as we emptied it.  Saddest as we swept up memories that hid in all the hidey-holes in that house and packed them away into the corners of our minds and deep in our hearts.  We left it stark and lonely.  I have never seen a house as sad as this one.  Ever.  And I love old, abandoned houses.  Angelheart Cottage was bereft.  I felt it.  Our sympathies echoed, mine and the house, as we commiserated together for one last time before I shut the door and bid it farewell.

In the two years since we left that house and moved to our island, i have learned a very great lesson.  I learned that home is where we make it.  I discovered that taking all our stuff from one house and bringing to a cottage that looks like Angelheart Cottage had a baby was actually fun.  It was like our cottage was made just for us.  We were led here.  We have no doubt about that.  It was just as much a miracle finding our cottage here as it was finding that house on a perfect summer day 27 years ago.  We fell just as much in love with this one as we did that one.  Our stuff fell in love with the cottage, too, as everything we took with us fits so perfectly here.  I learned that change is necessary….that we may not always like it, but it is important that we embrace change and love what it can do for us…..and to us.

I also learned that memories are made as beautifully here as there.  That home is as much a state of mind and of the heart as it is a place to live.

This is Farnia….a way of living, a way of seeing, a way of discovering, a way of dreaming.  It is my adventure.